Each Step Taken Is A New Victory

I've decided that I'm going to try and write my thoughts every Saturday night. I chose Saturday night because Saturday as you may know is the day that the "soon to be" ex comes to bring the car over so that I can do the grocery shopping.

I've told you about the anxiety that I experience every time he comes over....it's awful. But today it wasn't so bad. Don't get me wrong, it was still there, but it wasn't as bad as it usually is. I just wish I could wipe that "Hey how are you? How's things going?" stupid grin off of his face! Every time he comes over it's like he just drank the last bottle of giggle juice!

I called my mom after he left and talked to her about it. She said something that made so much sense, I've just been so wrapped up in my self that I didn't see it. She said, " Do you really think that he's that happy? He's probably putting on the happy routine. He's not going to let you know that he's not that happy."

This is where I'm supposed to say that I only wish him well.....someday that sentiment will probably be true, but for now, I want him to suffer. I want him to be more miserable with every passing day.

But since I'll probably never know how miserable he is, I'll just have to be satisfied with knowing that I'm getting stronger every day. I also know that as much as I would like to not see him at all right now, God is in control and He does nothing in vain.

For every Saturday that goes by, I'll be able to measure how much I'm really over him. I'm keeping a prayer on my lips.

New International Version (©1984)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.