Christmas in Blue

Two more days until Christmas, the time when we should be focused on the birth of Christ and celebrating life, love and family......but in the land of the real, it's just not working for me.

I'm going through the motions, doing the things that I know I'm supposed to do, cleaning the house in preparation for decorations. Putting together holiday food menus, but really all I want to do is crawl up in a ball and hibernate until it's over.....is that even possible. Not really

All I can hope for is that next year things will be easier, I know that New Years it going to feel just about as bad if not worse. The funny is that people can all kinds of amazing things to try and make you feel better...but really they're just going to pass right through your ears, and through your heart leaving nothing more than a very temporary band-aid. The bottom line is, I feel sick inside.

What will keep me going on is that the holidays are not just about me. I have my children that are depending on me to make things as "normal" as I can. Don't misunderstand, my children have been amazing through this process. I know that all of them are going through their own struggles as well.

The bottom line is, God willing my life will go on, I can only hope that it get's better, easier. *sigh* We shall see.

.......and this too shall pass.