Convergence

convergingpresent participle of con·verge (Verb)

Verb:

(of several people or things) Come together from different directions so as eventually to meet. Come from different directions and meet at (a place)

Life can sometimes have a very cruel sense of humor, just when you think you've gotten to the top of the mountain, you realize that your only on a small cliff.....you see you didn't know that there was another 500 feet of mountain just beyond the clouds that were looming over your head.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be writing these articles. When I first started writing them, I was at the very beginning of the journey that would bring 20 years of life as I knew it to an end. That chapter is very soon to be formally closed. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm at peace with that.

I do have fears of the unknown. Being financially responsible for all the bills of this home, for all of my beautiful children. The children that I owe my life to, God only knows how this journey would have ended for me without them. The fear of just living. But it's a welcomed fear.

I've come to the realization that fear in and of it's self is not a bad thing, it's simply something that we have to meet head on. But mind you, fear is not something that you can put your hands on, or destroy. You simply wound it enough to disparate. I will present itself again in another place, and at another time. I think that's why God tells us in Deuteronomy 31:16  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Because he knew we would be faced with fear many, many times.

 But back to the story at hand......I'm at the point in my life where the old life and the new life have converged, and wrapped themselves around one another like so much twisted metal. The thing is, I didn't see it coming. For some reason I had the audacity to think that once all of this was over, I would just be happy. I knew that there would be the regular life's troubles, but not this. Oh I know it's only temporary, because that's the beauty of time. As time passes it brings change. And there is one great thing that I've learned through this process, I have learned to Stand. Ephesians 6:13 "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand"


So I'm setting about the business of trying to untwist the metal, and the only tools I have are my bare hands. So there's bound to be a few cuts an scratches, but nothing that I can't handle.

So for anyone that happens to come across this blog and you're going through a separation, divorce, or any sort of life shattering event, know this, you can make it. It was a very dear friend of mine that told me, Embrace the process." There will be good days and bad days, but there will be days, and isn't that the point, that there will be days. You will live you will survive, you will get through this......I promise. After all, If I can do it you can, just remember that This To Shall Pass.

Purpose

Life is such an amazing enigma....

e·nig·ma/iˈnigmə/

Noun:

A person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand. A riddle or paradox.

I'm finally at a place where I'm starting to feel as if there will be a life after the life that was.....and then I realized something, not so much a new realization, but the resurfacing of an old haunting feeling, "What exactly is my purpose?"

This is a conversation that God and I have had off and on for many years. I have a secret that I'll share with you. I have never truly known what my purpose in life was. I thought my only purpose was to be a wife and then a mother. I thank God daily for my children, they're the shining embers in what I would call the ashes of a marriage past. But I'm talking about that over all great purpose.

Does anyone every know what their purpose in life really is? I have no idea, but it's about time that I started finding out.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.^[b]

It's this promise that I'm going to lean on. I am no longer captive to a relationship that gave me no sunlight. Now there's nothing in my way to keep me from growing accept for me. I don't have to know right now what my purpose is, but I do know that I have one and that it will be good.